Friends

It would be wrong not to acknowledge how I'm feeling at the moment and just as wrong not to record it on my blog.

Although I'm trying very hard not to let anyone see (I think for once I'm being successful), I'm really hurting inside right now.

When we split John and I said that we'd try to stay friends, we were best friends and have so much in common, but it's never as simple as that is it?

We've talked occasionally on iMessage (usually about books and films), we've even been out for a meal and been to the cinema - and its been great.

But that's the problem isn't it!? As friends we are great and it works, and I don't want that to change but of course every time I see him and we have a good time I'm reminded of what we've lost (and of course I'm reminded of the good stuff we've lost).

So, what to do? I'm not looking for anyone else, but John has told me that he doesn't want to spend the rest of his life alone (although he also says he's not looking) - to me this is a recipe for disaster and upset.

Whichever one of us meets someone new first, the other will be upset (I know I will be) - it's bound to happen, and I'm not looking forward to it.  But I guess we both have to move on - it's just easier to say that than it is to do.