John and me

I'm not sure why I haven't blogged about this before, I guess it's because it was a very painful and upsetting experience, that thankfully has now largely passed.

Suffice to say that John is no longer living in Sheffield with me, he's gone back to Thurlstone - I asked him to leave.

Not because we don't love each other, or because we don't want to be together - we do, and we do. But more because he needs to sort his business out, and we both need some space.

Over the last few months we'd begun to argue, all the time, about everything and anything - it seemed that whenever we were together it would end with me shouting and often crying. I wanted him to put more effort into his business, and my constant nagging was knocking his confidence and stopping him from getting on with anything (coupled with the cost of traveling between his studio and Sheffield).

When I asked him to leave I think we both believed that was the end of the relationship - we were hurting each other too much. But after a few days it became obvious to both of us that wasn't what we wanted, we love each other and we want to make it work.

So, for the time being he's staying in Thurlstone, concentrating on getting his business in better shape; and, most fun of all, we are 'seeing' each other again! We go on 'dates', spend quality time together and we are discovering the fun and enjoyment that I think had got lost along the way when he moved in.

We hope that at some point he'll move back over, but there's no time limit, and we need to see how the business does. I'm enjoying having the house to myself sometimes, and getting my bed back (due to his snoring i'd moved into the spare room). Of course the ideal for me (and I've always said it), is to have two houses next door to each other!

I miss him terribly, and I'm forced to look after his ever expanding gardening (hundreds of pots of herbs and vegetables) - which I'm sure my 'green fingers of death' will kill off eventually! But at least I know that we can make the relationship stronger, and that we still have a future together.