As many of you will know - I come across as a very confident person - and it's for this reason that people have always been really surprised when I say that I have a total fear of public speaking.
An example of the crazy things I say when I'm nervous -
We are in a big meeting, Inspectors of Ancient Monuments, and Assistant Inspectors (including me), discussing various topics including working conditions and changes to the roles. My fellow assistant inspectors and I are concerned about making sure that we have a voice in the changes.
At one point, I chip in, this is what I meant to say -
'before anything happens I hope that you will consult the assistant inspectors'
what I actually say -
'before anything happens I hope that you will insult the assistant inspectors'
Needless to say it got a laugh - and I was mortified
So, I've never volunteered to speak in public, and have actually refused when asked to do so.
When I joined the organisation I'm currently working for they sent me on a one day public speaking course - but I have to say it was a very unusual one, as we actually didn't do any speaking what-so-ever.The whole day is a bit of a blur, I know we talked about past experiences (and I related the story above), and I know we talked about childhood memories to try to sort out why we have a problem with speaking in front of others (for me it was a maths teacher who ridiculed me when I got something wrong - which in maths I often did!).
We identified that for me the problem is not the presentation or speaking itself, it's the nervousness beforehand - and the more notice I have of something, the more of a state I get into!
The trainer worked on techniques for calming - in particular EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) - something that John would hate! Although I don't use it, I know that many people swear by it.
Anyway, whether all this worked, or it's the fact that I've gained so much more confidence since losing weight, or it's the fact that my job has required me to give talks - I've certainly got over my fear.
My role has meant that I've given presentations to groups ranging in size from 4 to 140 people, I've had to train other professionals, and to talk to groups of people who haven't a clue what I'm on about (by the end of the talk they have!). I've also discovered I have the ability to 'project' my voice without actually 'shouting'.
Last week was the ultimate test - I had to speak at the organisation's AGM. In front of about 80 people, many of them colleagues, the local mayor, my bosses, and worst of all - my aunt!
I have no idea what I said! Although I'd written a powerpoint presentation, and I went through the slides, I don't read slides (audiences can do that for themselves and I never put lots of words up), so I just talk around them. I have no recollection of what I said really - but it seemed to go okay and many people afterwards said it had been good.
Now I really enjoy public speaking, in fact I want to do more - anyone want a talk about 'The history of the public convenience'?!?
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